But as she makes the leather tethers (known as “jesses”) that “would hold me to the hawk, just as they would hold the hawk to me” she finds a measure of comfort in knowing that, as long as its jesses are firmly attached, the bird cannot leave. Her reasons for doing so are unclear, even to her. The two spent many hours together watching and later training raptors when MacDonald was a child.Īfter her father’s death, the grieving MacDonald decides to purchase and train a Northern goshawk despite its reputation as the brute of the falconry world - a bird by nature and appearance “bulkier, bloodier, deadlier, scarier,” than other hawks. And, also like him, she has a deep love of nature, especially birds of prey. Like him, she is a “watcher,” someone who observes and catalogs life from the sidelines rather than fully immersing themselves in it. His death devastated MacDonald, who likens herself to him many times throughout the book. Single, childless, and in her 40s, MacDonald was teaching at a local preparatory school when her father, photojournalist Alisdair Macdonald, collapsed on the street and died before reaching the hospital. Awarded the prestigious Samuel Johnson Prize and the Costa Book of the Year award in 2014, the book was a popular hit as well, rising to Britain’s bestseller list shortly after its release. Helen MacDonald’s memoir “H is for Hawk” is a beautiful story of grief and healing interwoven with a gripping account of a MacDonald’s relationship with the goshawk she decides to train after her father’s death.
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